Despite the fact that Kurt is distraught and in tears, Blaine feels a rush of warmth and affection for the man in his arms as he talks to their unborn child and suddenly, Blaine feels even more protective of their family. Everett may be his brother, but he meddled in more than just Blaine and Kurt’s lives. The stress could have been damaging to both Kurt’s and the baby’s health and if Blaine can’t forgive Everett for hurting Kurt, it’s nothing compared to how he’d reacted had something happened to his child.
At Kurt’s soft question, Blaine spares a glance at his abandoned phone and dismisses it just as quickly. He pulls Kurt tighter in his embrace, pressing his forehead against Kurt’s temple, giving a small shake of his head. “It’s either work with an “emergency” or Everett either begging to come back or insulting us some more, neither of which is important right now.”
Blaine kisses Kurt’s cheek, one arm shifting down so that he can place his hand over Kurt’s still flat abdomen. “This is what is important right now. Just us. You, me and Peanut. Everything and everyone else can wait.”
The sound of Cameron’s voice brings Everett rushing back to reality in a hurry and he slumps against the railing of the bridge, gasping for air as the gravity of what he was about to do hits him.
“Oh god.” Everett’s crying hard now and he can hardly breathe, clinging to the railing for dear life as his legs give out, phone still clutched tightly in his hand. “I’m so sorry, Cameron. I can’t. Oh god.”
Blaine may not give a damn about him, but Cameron does and Everett loves him. He’s not selfish enough to put the brunette through that. He feels sick thinking about what he was about to do, what he’d almost done, what he would have done had it not been for Cameron’s phone call. What if it would have been 30 seconds later?
“I’m. I. B-Brooklyn bridge.” Everett hiccups and he wishes that he was in Cameron’s arms right now, somewhere far away from here, where everything hurts and feels wrong. “I l-love you.”
Kurt sighs a little, still focusing on just trying to even out his breathing. It’s easier now, a little hiccup escaping his lips every now and then. Blaine’s his rock, the one thing that’s always been here, always will be here, except now, they’ll have a part of the both of them always around, always with them.
He nods, lacing his fingers with Blaine’s over his stomach. “Peanut,” Kurt says, smiling.You, me, and Peanut. “I like the sound of that…just us, that is.”
Instead of planning a wedding, Kurt now wants to plan a nursery in a house as he gets bigger. He wants to share the news with his father and Carole, swapping pregnancy stories with his stepmother. He wants to go to doctor’s appointments and post sonogram pictures on their refrigerator.
He still can’t help but feel guilty. This should be a time of celebration, and now that Kurt has calmed down, he wonders where their brothers are. He doesn’t say anything though; he can tell Blaine is still annoyed (at best) with his twin, so Kurt merely snuggles closer to Blaine, rubbing his thumb over the top of his fiancé’s hand.
The Brooklyn Bridge. Of course. Just a few weeks ago, they had gone there on their sightseeing adventure throughout New York. He and Everett had taken a picture together, and at the time, it had been a joke, making fun of the couples they had seen throughout the day. Cameron still remembered Everett plastering his lips against his cheek in the cheesiest way possible before snapping a picture. “I love you too. Please stay there, please.” Cameron whispers, clutching to his phone as if it were a lifeline.
He stays on the line with Everett until the bus gets to the stop he needs to get off at to get to the bridge. Running the span, Cameron looks around frantically until he spots the other man slumped against the brick wall. He hangs up the phone, running as fast as he can, almost collapsing next to the other man. “Everett, please…don’t scare me like that. I can’t…I can’t be without you. I really can’t. I need you, okay?” He says, lifting Everett’s head up so he can look him in the eyes. “I am so in love with you. So much that it scares the shit out of me. Listen to me though, Ev…even though it scares the shit out of me, that doesn’t mean I don’t want it…don’t want you, okay?” Cameron reaches out, hugging the older man tightly as he whispers softly. “Please don’t run from me anymore.”
Blaine couldn’t stop rubbing Kurt’s tummy, even though there wasn’t really anything there to rub. He was looking forward to watching Kurt grow with the life they’d created together and getting to pick out names and colors for the nursery. Sure, being pregnant this early on wasn’t in their original ten year plan, but Blaine finds that it feels like it’s happening at just the right moment.
“You okay to move this to the bedroom? Sitting on this hard floor can’t be good for you or the baby.” Blaine barely suppresses a wince as he shifts his position. “Or my back.”
Everett all but crawls into Cameron’s lap, clinging to him tightly, face buried in his neck. “I’m sorry. I won’t. I promise. Never again.”
He’s not even sure that he’s making sense and he’s distantly aware that he’s shaking, a combination of the horror of what he almost did and the events of the night as a whole. After a few minutes, the shakes subside and Everett feels like enough of himself to pull away a little so that he can see Cameron’s face. He swallows thickly, lashes still thick and heavy with tears.
“Cam….I can’t go back there. Even if Blaine were ever to forgive me, I just. I can’t. Blaine will never be happy as long as I’m still in his life.” He shakes his head a little and looks down at his lap. “I know that you….Kurt loves you and he needs you. I won’t ask you to leave that behind and I would never expect you to. But…..I have to.”
Everett stands and pulls Cameron to his feet with him and he wonders if he looks as bad as the other man does. His eyes sting and he knows that he probably has snot all over his face but he really can’t be bothered to care. “I was thinking of maybe Boston. Or Jersey. I want to go back to school, perfect my craft. But. You could stay with Kurt and Blaine while I try and find a place? If you wanted…”
Everett trails off and looks off over the water, his words getting stuck in his throat. He fiddles with his phone for a minute before looking back at Cameron. “I’ve already said my goodbyes to Blaine. I won’t contact him or Kurt again. But maybe we could move somewhere close enough that you still could.”
Relationships have never been his forte and he’s certainly never been serious enough about one to warrant moving in together. He’s not running from Cameron. He’s not running at all, actually. He’s doing what he should have done years ago and removing himself from the situation. He can’t ask the same of Cameron, would never ask the same of him. Kurt and Cameron’s relationship isn’t like his and Blaine’s; they need each other. Everett isn’t enough of an asshole to deny Cameron contact with his brother.
God, he’s an idiot. There he goes, being selfish again. Frustrating, Everett turns and hurls his phone out over the water, for a moment wishing that it wasn’t dark so he’d at least have the satisfaction of seeing it hit the water and disappear. “There I go, being Blaine’s selfish, asshole brother again. Here I am, thinking I’m doing you some big favor by telling you that you can have contact with them, like I even the right to do even that, but in return I’d be all but forcing you to lie. About me.”
Everett leans against the railing, head ducked. He’s all out of ideas, all out of plans. “I don’t know what to do.”
Posted 1 year ago with 9 notes via thefabkhummel
#Blaine Anderson #Kurt Hummel #Everett Anderson #Cameron Hummel #scene: If You Don't Want Me Then I Guess I'll Have to Go (Not Loving You Is Harder Than You Know)
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