| home | ask me | archive | Themes | twatter | je't'aime | brotatochip | brotatodip |
Blaine couldn’t stop rubbing Kurt’s tummy, even though there wasn’t really anything there to rub. He was looking forward to watching Kurt grow with the life they’d created together and getting to pick out names and colors for the nursery. Sure, being pregnant this early on wasn’t in their original ten year plan, but Blaine finds that it feels like it’s happening at just the right moment.
“You okay to move this to the bedroom? Sitting on this hard floor can’t be good for you or the baby.” Blaine barely suppresses a wince as he shifts his position. “Or my back.”
_________
Everett all but crawls into Cameron’s lap, clinging to him tightly, face buried in his neck. “I’m sorry. I won’t. I promise. Never again.”
He’s not even sure that he’s making sense and he’s distantly aware that he’s shaking, a combination of the horror of what he almost did and the events of the night as a whole. After a few minutes, the shakes subside and Everett feels like enough of himself to pull away a little so that he can see Cameron’s face. He swallows thickly, lashes still thick and heavy with tears.
“Cam….I can’t go back there. Even if Blaine were ever to forgive me, I just. I can’t. Blaine will never be happy as long as I’m still in his life.” He shakes his head a little and looks down at his lap. “I know that you….Kurt loves you and he needs you. I won’t ask you to leave that behind and I would never expect you to. But…..I have to.”
Everett stands and pulls Cameron to his feet with him and he wonders if he looks as bad as the other man does. His eyes sting and he knows that he probably has snot all over his face but he really can’t be bothered to care. “I was thinking of maybe Boston. Or Jersey. I want to go back to school, perfect my craft. But. You could stay with Kurt and Blaine while I try and find a place? If you wanted…”
Everett trails off and looks off over the water, his words getting stuck in his throat. He fiddles with his phone for a minute before looking back at Cameron. “I’ve already said my goodbyes to Blaine. I won’t contact him or Kurt again. But maybe we could move somewhere close enough that you still could.”
Relationships have never been his forte and he’s certainly never been serious enough about one to warrant moving in together. He’s not running from Cameron. He’s not running at all, actually. He’s doing what he should have done years ago and removing himself from the situation. He can’t ask the same of Cameron, would never ask the same of him. Kurt and Cameron’s relationship isn’t like his and Blaine’s; they need each other. Everett isn’t enough of an asshole to deny Cameron contact with his brother.
God, he’s an idiot. There he goes, being selfish again. Frustrating, Everett turns and hurls his phone out over the water, for a moment wishing that it wasn’t dark so he’d at least have the satisfaction of seeing it hit the water and disappear. “There I go, being Blaine’s selfish, asshole brother again. Here I am, thinking I’m doing you some big favor by telling you that you can have contact with them, like I even the right to do even that, but in return I’d be all but forcing you to lie. About me.”
Everett leans against the railing, head ducked. He’s all out of ideas, all out of plans. “I don’t know what to do.”
Kurt nods eagerly, shifting to stand up. He shakes away the tingling feeling in his legs, heading towards the bedroom, Blaine not far behind him. Another pang of guilt shoots through him, not seeing Cameron in the hall.
He pushes it aside as they curl up on the bed together, and Kurt can’t help but smile as Blaine rests his head on his stomach, right over where their child is. It seems like a miracle in disguise, this pregnancy, coming at a time where he was still healing from one of the worst things that had ever happened to him. Now, Kurt had something else to focus on, however. He had to put this baby through as little stress as possible, and although that wasn’t off to the best start, Kurt knew in his heart of hearts that things would get better.
“I love you, Blaine.”
—
Cameron listens to Everett speak, careful not to interrupt. Although he’s never been one for sharing feelings per say, Cameron has a hunch that Everett is one of those people that just needs to vent every once in a while because even as close as he and Blaine are—were?—that no one ever listened to him, or when they did, they didn’t take him seriously.
“Look at me.” Approaching Everett slowly, Cameron reaches out, brushing the tears from the other man’s face. “You’re not an asshole, Ev.”
“And just because you’ve said your goodbyes doesn’t mean you can’t go back.” Cameron bites his lip, keeping his voice low. “I’d understand why you want to leave, but can you honestly tell me you’d never regret leaving him…leaving your brother only to never contact him again? I know you two have been at ends sometimes,” He sighs, pushing the dark curls away from Everett’s forehead. “I also know you love each other. It’s that damn twin thing. You need each other, even if the both of you think you don’t. You’re just both so stubborn sometimes that you can’t see it. I know you think Blaine would be happier without you in his life, but I honestly don’t think that’s true.”
Resting his forehead against Everett’s, Cameron braces his hand at the side of the older man’s neck. “If what you truly want is to go, then I’ll go with you. Like I said, Ev…I can’t be without you and if leaving our brothers is what it takes…then I’ll do that.” He almost can’t believe he’s saying this, but Everett has become as much a part of him as Kurt has, and Cameron would find a way to make this work so he could have them both, in a matter of speaking, even if it meant living a significant enough distance from Kurt.
I don’t know what to do. Cameron’s heart simply aches at Everett’s statement. “I wish I could make things easier for you, Ev, I really do, and I’m sorry that I can’t.”
“I love you, too, Kurt.” Blaine’s tracing idle shapes on Kurt’s stomach and he leans up a little so he can look over Kurt’s should and down at his abdomen. “And I love you, too, Peanut.”
Blaine lays back down and pulls Kurt tight against him, tucking his knees up behind his. His phone beeps from it’s place on the nightstand, reminding him of his voicemail and even though he’s calmed down some and is feeling uneasy about the way things played out, he’s still holding on to too much anger towards his twin to break down and listen to the message or call him back.
Putting all thoughts of Everett and his selfishness aside, Blaine focuses on Kurt and the baby, their tiny little Peanut. He hums absentmindedly, some melody that sounds close to a lullaby. He’ll deal with Everett later. There’s always tomorrow….
_____________________
“Can we just. For a little while?” Everett looks up and meets Cameron’s eyes and for once, he’s got every guard down, leaving him vulnerable and desperate. “I won’t insist on forever but I can’t be around Blaine right now. I know that I crossed the line and I shouldn’t have said and did what I did, but I never thought that they would take it so seriously…I didn’t think Blaine could ever hate me.”
Though probably not half as much as I hate myself.
“You know that I would never…..with Kurt….right?” Everett’s not sure why he’s adamant about making sure that Cameron knows that he’d never cheat on him; he’s spent the better part of twenty-two years not giving a damn about anyone but Blaine, not letting anyone in and not caring whose heart he broke. And then Cameron Hummel came along and upset the apple cart and Everett isn’t even sure that he can be angry about it. “I was only playing around.”
Everett sighs and looks out over the water, letting the loss of his twin wash over him, savoring the ache. He knows that he crossed the line, pushed too hard, from both Kurt and Blaine. He just never expected them to react the way that they did. “Out of everyone I’ve ever fucked over, I never thought Blaine would hate me. I thought he’d always love me, no matter what, regardless of how many times I fucked up. I guess even he has a breaking point.”
Shaking off his melancholy for now, Everett stands and offers a hand to Cameron. “C’mon. We need to find a place to stay for a few days. The streets can’t handle us.”
Despite the fact that Kurt is distraught and in tears, Blaine feels a rush of warmth and affection for the man in his arms as he talks to their unborn child and suddenly, Blaine feels even more protective of their family. Everett may be his brother, but he meddled in more than just Blaine and Kurt’s lives. The stress could have been damaging to both Kurt’s and the baby’s health and if Blaine can’t forgive Everett for hurting Kurt, it’s nothing compared to how he’d reacted had something happened to his child.
At Kurt’s soft question, Blaine spares a glance at his abandoned phone and dismisses it just as quickly. He pulls Kurt tighter in his embrace, pressing his forehead against Kurt’s temple, giving a small shake of his head. “It’s either work with an “emergency” or Everett either begging to come back or insulting us some more, neither of which is important right now.”
Blaine kisses Kurt’s cheek, one arm shifting down so that he can place his hand over Kurt’s still flat abdomen. “This is what is important right now. Just us. You, me and Peanut. Everything and everyone else can wait.”
__________
The sound of Cameron’s voice brings Everett rushing back to reality in a hurry and he slumps against the railing of the bridge, gasping for air as the gravity of what he was about to do hits him.
“Oh god.” Everett’s crying hard now and he can hardly breathe, clinging to the railing for dear life as his legs give out, phone still clutched tightly in his hand. “I’m so sorry, Cameron. I can’t. Oh god.”
Blaine may not give a damn about him, but Cameron does and Everett loves him. He’s not selfish enough to put the brunette through that. He feels sick thinking about what he was about to do, what he’d almost done, what he would have done had it not been for Cameron’s phone call. What if it would have been 30 seconds later?
“I’m. I. B-Brooklyn bridge.” Everett hiccups and he wishes that he was in Cameron’s arms right now, somewhere far away from here, where everything hurts and feels wrong. “I l-love you.”
Kurt sighs a little, still focusing on just trying to even out his breathing. It’s easier now, a little hiccup escaping his lips every now and then. Blaine’s his rock, the one thing that’s always been here, always will be here, except now, they’ll have a part of the both of them always around, always with them.
He nods, lacing his fingers with Blaine’s over his stomach. “Peanut,” Kurt says, smiling.You, me, and Peanut. “I like the sound of that…just us, that is.”
Instead of planning a wedding, Kurt now wants to plan a nursery in a house as he gets bigger. He wants to share the news with his father and Carole, swapping pregnancy stories with his stepmother. He wants to go to doctor’s appointments and post sonogram pictures on their refrigerator.
He still can’t help but feel guilty. This should be a time of celebration, and now that Kurt has calmed down, he wonders where their brothers are. He doesn’t say anything though; he can tell Blaine is still annoyed (at best) with his twin, so Kurt merely snuggles closer to Blaine, rubbing his thumb over the top of his fiancé’s hand.
—-
The Brooklyn Bridge. Of course. Just a few weeks ago, they had gone there on their sightseeing adventure throughout New York. He and Everett had taken a picture together, and at the time, it had been a joke, making fun of the couples they had seen throughout the day. Cameron still remembered Everett plastering his lips against his cheek in the cheesiest way possible before snapping a picture. “I love you too. Please stay there, please.” Cameron whispers, clutching to his phone as if it were a lifeline.
He stays on the line with Everett until the bus gets to the stop he needs to get off at to get to the bridge. Running the span, Cameron looks around frantically until he spots the other man slumped against the brick wall. He hangs up the phone, running as fast as he can, almost collapsing next to the other man. “Everett, please…don’t scare me like that. I can’t…I can’t be without you. I really can’t. I need you, okay?” He says, lifting Everett’s head up so he can look him in the eyes. “I am so in love with you. So much that it scares the shit out of me. Listen to me though, Ev…even though it scares the shit out of me, that doesn’t mean I don’t want it…don’t want you, okay?” Cameron reaches out, hugging the older man tightly as he whispers softly. “Please don’t run from me anymore.”
Blaine couldn’t stop rubbing Kurt’s tummy, even though there wasn’t really anything there to rub. He was looking forward to watching Kurt grow with the life they’d created together and getting to pick out names and colors for the nursery. Sure, being pregnant this early on wasn’t in their original ten year plan, but Blaine finds that it feels like it’s happening at just the right moment.
“You okay to move this to the bedroom? Sitting on this hard floor can’t be good for you or the baby.” Blaine barely suppresses a wince as he shifts his position. “Or my back.”
_________
Everett all but crawls into Cameron’s lap, clinging to him tightly, face buried in his neck. “I’m sorry. I won’t. I promise. Never again.”
He’s not even sure that he’s making sense and he’s distantly aware that he’s shaking, a combination of the horror of what he almost did and the events of the night as a whole. After a few minutes, the shakes subside and Everett feels like enough of himself to pull away a little so that he can see Cameron’s face. He swallows thickly, lashes still thick and heavy with tears.
“Cam….I can’t go back there. Even if Blaine were ever to forgive me, I just. I can’t. Blaine will never be happy as long as I’m still in his life.” He shakes his head a little and looks down at his lap. “I know that you….Kurt loves you and he needs you. I won’t ask you to leave that behind and I would never expect you to. But…..I have to.”
Everett stands and pulls Cameron to his feet with him and he wonders if he looks as bad as the other man does. His eyes sting and he knows that he probably has snot all over his face but he really can’t be bothered to care. “I was thinking of maybe Boston. Or Jersey. I want to go back to school, perfect my craft. But. You could stay with Kurt and Blaine while I try and find a place? If you wanted…”
Everett trails off and looks off over the water, his words getting stuck in his throat. He fiddles with his phone for a minute before looking back at Cameron. “I’ve already said my goodbyes to Blaine. I won’t contact him or Kurt again. But maybe we could move somewhere close enough that you still could.”
Relationships have never been his forte and he’s certainly never been serious enough about one to warrant moving in together. He’s not running from Cameron. He’s not running at all, actually. He’s doing what he should have done years ago and removing himself from the situation. He can’t ask the same of Cameron, would never ask the same of him. Kurt and Cameron’s relationship isn’t like his and Blaine’s; they need each other. Everett isn’t enough of an asshole to deny Cameron contact with his brother.
God, he’s an idiot. There he goes, being selfish again. Frustrating, Everett turns and hurls his phone out over the water, for a moment wishing that it wasn’t dark so he’d at least have the satisfaction of seeing it hit the water and disappear. “There I go, being Blaine’s selfish, asshole brother again. Here I am, thinking I’m doing you some big favor by telling you that you can have contact with them, like I even the right to do even that, but in return I’d be all but forcing you to lie. About me.”
Everett leans against the railing, head ducked. He’s all out of ideas, all out of plans. “I don’t know what to do.”
Blaine has never wanted to hit his twin more than in this moment and it takes a lot of effort to force his anger down and focus on Kurt. Kurt needs him right now and Everett is going to have to wait, whether he likes it or not.
“Easy, baby. C’mon. Breathe with me.” He knows that Kurt’s hurting and part of it might be the pregnancy, but he needs to get him to calm down before he puts both himself and the baby in danger. “Think about Peanut. I’m sure he or she isn’t very happy seeing you upset. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. Nothing is going to touch us in here, okay?”
A few feet away on the carpet, his phone begins to vibrate. It’s probably the fifth time it’s rang and Blaine hardly spares it a glance and after a few more seconds, the vibrations stop, the ding of a bell alerting him of a voicemail before the screen fades to black, Everett’s name splashed across it.
________________
Everett isn’t really sure where he’s going, face pressed against the glass of the city bus. He hasn’t thought that far ahead. He lowers his phone to his lap, pressing end, effectively cutting off Blaine’s cheery, “You’ve reached Blaine. I can’t get to my phone right now, but leave a message and I will get back to you asap. Beep!”
His chest feels hollow where his heart should be and he figures that’s pretty accurate considering that it’s ripped in two, lying at Cameron and Blaine’s feet.
Cameron.
Everett chokes back an actual sob thinking about the pale brunette. Things may not have been completely resolved with Blaine - and they were in even worse shape now - but he truly does love Cameron, with every piece of his heart that doesn’t belong to his brother. He knows that’s selfish, too, but he thinks that there’s always a part of you that belongs to your twin. You’re two parts to the same whole, after all.
Opening his eyes, Everett’s gaze falls on a dark shape off to his right. It’s selfish and stupid but suddenly, Everett knows exactly where he’s going. He stands, pulling the rope to alert the driver and when the bus slows, he steps off into the night, shivering slightly. He’s super close so it doesn’t take but a couple of minutes to get to where he’s headed, the echo of his footfalls echoing loudly as they change from concrete to grated metal.
Everett stares out across the water, the Manhattan skyline glittering in the distance and he imagines that somewhere across town, Blaine has finally gotten Kurt to calm down and they’re curled together in their warm nest of domesticity. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out his phone, dialing the ever-familiar number, the plastic pressed hard against his ear.
“You reached Blaine-“
Everett listens all the way through and this time, he doesn’t hang up when it ends. He’s quiet for a minute before he takes a deep, shuddering breath and speaks. “I love you, Blaine. And I know it probably doesn’t mean anything to you, especially coming from me, but I am sorry. I should have backed off a long time ago when it was clear that Kurt was more than just a fling.” Tears fall hot and heavy on his cheeks and Everett pauses to wipe them away. “He’s good for you, you know. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile so much than whenever he’s around and lord knows you need someone to keep you from bouncing all over the place like an overgrown puppy. You and Kurt are going to be awesome parents. I hope you have a little girl and I hope she looks like you. But with Kurt’s eyes.”
Everett stops then, on the brink of toomuch and yet so close to the relief of finally letting go. He breathes deep again and continues, “Be happy, Blaine. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. A-and tell Cameron that I never blamed him for choosing Kurt.”
He hangs up before he says anymore, says too much and he stuffs his phone in his pocket. Dropping his backpack on the ground, Everett hoists himself up on the railing, one eye on the looming blackness below him. He gets halfway over when his phone rings in his pocket and he hesitates, debating on whether or not to answer. Biting his lip, Everett lowers himself back down to the safe side of the railing, letting go as soon as his feet touch the ground. He digs out his phone and thumbs the answer button without checking the caller ID, shaky hands pressing it against it head.
“‘lo?”
Kurt draws in a shaky breath as he listens to Blaine speak. “Think about Peanut. I’m sure he or she isn’t very happy seeing you upset. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. Nothing is going to touch us in here, okay?” Too upset with Everett, Kurt had barely considered the baby except for a fleeting thought or two, and all of a sudden, he felt exceptionally selfish. This stress, both mentally and physically, could not be good for their child, and in his haste to get away from Everett, he had forgotten the most important thing in their lives right now.
He forces himself to take another deep breath, listening to Blaine’s heartbeat. He loosens his grip on the fabric of his fiancé’s shirt, one of his arms snaking around his own waist, across where their little boy or girl is growing. “I’m sorry, little one,” Kurt whispers, his voice still watery. “Daddy didn’t mean to scare you like that.” He knows he’s mostly talking to the unborn child in his womb, but he can’t help but feel like he’s also talking to Blaine a little bit too.
The familiar sound that signals Blaine has a voicemail cuts through the air, almost echoing off the walls of the bathroom. “Are you going to get that?
—-
Cameron has no clue where he’s going. He left long enough after Everett that there was no trace of the other man, who had no doubt caught a bus or taxi to get wherever he was going. Getting on the next bus that stops just outside the apartment building, Cameron keeps trying Everett’s cell phone, all to no avail. The tiniest of parts of him wants to give up, tells him that maybe Everett’s given up on him too—but he can’t give up on the man who’s all but stolen his heart, despite his best efforts to keep it guarded and locked away.
Dialing the number again, Cameron listens to the sound of the ringing once, twice, three times before—
“lo?” Even in that one syllable, Cameron can hear the hurt, the broken tone, the shakiness laced Everett’s voice.
“Oh thank God…” The younger man breathes, his throat tightening almost instantly. “Everett…I’m out…I’m out looking for you. Please just tell me where you are…I…I’m picking you. Kurt will understand…he’ll forgive me eventually. I just can’t live knowing I didn’t try to stop you, didn’t do more to save you, so please, please, please tell me where you are so I can hug you close. So I can tell you I love you in person.” He’s begging again, and Cameron’s sure he sounds like a fourteen year old girl, trying to convince her boyfriend not to leave her, but he can’t help it. When it comes down to it, he knows he can’t live without the man on the other side of the phone. “I don’t care if I have to walk across Manhattan to do it…I will, but please…you just have to tell me where you are.”
Despite the fact that Kurt is distraught and in tears, Blaine feels a rush of warmth and affection for the man in his arms as he talks to their unborn child and suddenly, Blaine feels even more protective of their family. Everett may be his brother, but he meddled in more than just Blaine and Kurt’s lives. The stress could have been damaging to both Kurt’s and the baby’s health and if Blaine can’t forgive Everett for hurting Kurt, it’s nothing compared to how he’d reacted had something happened to his child.
At Kurt’s soft question, Blaine spares a glance at his abandoned phone and dismisses it just as quickly. He pulls Kurt tighter in his embrace, pressing his forehead against Kurt’s temple, giving a small shake of his head. “It’s either work with an “emergency” or Everett either begging to come back or insulting us some more, neither of which is important right now.”
Blaine kisses Kurt’s cheek, one arm shifting down so that he can place his hand over Kurt’s still flat abdomen. “This is what is important right now. Just us. You, me and Peanut. Everything and everyone else can wait.”
__________
The sound of Cameron’s voice brings Everett rushing back to reality in a hurry and he slumps against the railing of the bridge, gasping for air as the gravity of what he was about to do hits him.
“Oh god.” Everett’s crying hard now and he can hardly breathe, clinging to the railing for dear life as his legs give out, phone still clutched tightly in his hand. “I’m so sorry, Cameron. I can’t. Oh god.”
Blaine may not give a damn about him, but Cameron does and Everett loves him. He’s not selfish enough to put the brunette through that. He feels sick thinking about what he was about to do, what he’d almost done, what he would have done had it not been for Cameron’s phone call. What if it would have been 30 seconds later?
“I’m. I. B-Brooklyn bridge.” Everett hiccups and he wishes that he was in Cameron’s arms right now, somewhere far away from here, where everything hurts and feels wrong. “I l-love you.”
Blaine probably shouldn’t have been so harsh to Everett and he’ll regret it and apologize later, but right now, all he can focus on is Kurt. Kurt, who’s carrying their child and looking utterly distraught as Blaine opens the door. He can hear Cameron yelling about something but he can’t really be bothered to care at the moment.
Slipping into the bathroom, Blaine shuts the door behind him, locking it and drops to the ground, abandoning his phone as he approaches Kurt. He pulls his fiancé into his arms, tucking Kurt’s face into his neck as he rubs soothing circles on his back.
“Shh, baby. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
Blaine isn’t sure he will ever forgive his brother for hurting Kurt like this.
_________
Everett is trying to stuff his clothes into his backpack but his eyes are stinging with unshed tears and every time he closes his eyes to blink them away, Blaine’s words shine back at him, glaringly bright, making his heart crumple in his chest.
He’s the same selfish, arrogant asshole he’s always been.
He’d end up leaving anyway. I’m just speeding up the process.
It’s not the first time he’s been called selfish or arrogant and he’s heard ‘asshole’ enough in his life that he almost answers to it. But it stings in a way that it never did coming from Blaine, the literal other half to his whole. He knew that Blaine hated the way that Ev couldn’t let go, that he wouldn’t move on and stop making him choose, that he wouldn’t stop loving him. Everett just hadn’t realized that in reality, Blaine hated him.
He stuffs the last of his clothes into his bag and they’ll be a wrinkled mess later when he pulls them out, but Everett figures that he probably won’t need them where he’s going. He pauses as he steps into the hallway, backpack slung over one shoulder and he wants to say something to Cameron, something to change the way he’s curled in on himself as he stands outside the bathroom, head bent and pressed against the wood door. But he doesn’t know what to say, what could possibly make this better. He’s pushed too hard and gone too far and he’s pretty sure that this time, hearts won’t heal.
Shutting his mouth, Everett moves in the opposite direction, towards the front door. He pauses again, with his hand on the door, the other clenched in a fist, jaw set, waiting waiting for Blaine to change his mind, to take back what he said but it never comes. Twisting the handle roughly, Everett slips out the door, shutting it quietly behind him before slipping down the stairs and into the night, doing his best to fade into the shadows and disappear.
As soon as he feels Blaine’s arms around him, the dam crumbles that much further. Kurt cries so hard he really can’t breathe, big, gasping sobs that shakes his whole body. How could Everett do this to him?
In a way, Kurt knew he was being overly sensitive—Everett fucking him had always been a joke, practically from the moment they had met—but for some reason, this time felt different. This time, he had gone too far.
“B-B-Blaine…please…I can’t…I can’t…” Kurt clings to his fiancé for dear life, only vaguely aware of his brother’s shouts from the other side of the door. Why did his world always feel like it was crashing down around him?
—-
It didn’t matter that Cameron was the younger of the two Hummels. He had always felt fiercely protective of his twin, and now was no different…except this time, it was. The man he was in love with was leaving, and although no one asked him to, Cameron had to choose. It was Everett or Kurt…his boyfriend or his brother. If he left Kurt now, he would be an asshole, but if he let Everett run, he’d still be an asshole.
Once again, it was a no win situation. Cameron twists his fingers in his hair, letting out a cry of what could only be described as anguish. He was second best again, to both Everett and Kurt. He was worth leaving, and worth shunning when times got rough.
Standing up from the floor outside the bathroom, Cameron does perhaps the one selfish thing he’s ever done for himself. He walks out of the apartment and starts dialing Everett’s phone number. He’s going to get the other man to talk to him, one way or another.
Blaine has never wanted to hit his twin more than in this moment and it takes a lot of effort to force his anger down and focus on Kurt. Kurt needs him right now and Everett is going to have to wait, whether he likes it or not.
“Easy, baby. C’mon. Breathe with me.” He knows that Kurt’s hurting and part of it might be the pregnancy, but he needs to get him to calm down before he puts both himself and the baby in danger. “Think about Peanut. I’m sure he or she isn’t very happy seeing you upset. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. Nothing is going to touch us in here, okay?”
A few feet away on the carpet, his phone begins to vibrate. It’s probably the fifth time it’s rang and Blaine hardly spares it a glance and after a few more seconds, the vibrations stop, the ding of a bell alerting him of a voicemail before the screen fades to black, Everett’s name splashed across it.
________________
Everett isn’t really sure where he’s going, face pressed against the glass of the city bus. He hasn’t thought that far ahead. He lowers his phone to his lap, pressing end, effectively cutting off Blaine’s cheery, “You’ve reached Blaine. I can’t get to my phone right now, but leave a message and I will get back to you asap. Beep!”
His chest feels hollow where his heart should be and he figures that’s pretty accurate considering that it’s ripped in two, lying at Cameron and Blaine’s feet.
Cameron.
Everett chokes back an actual sob thinking about the pale brunette. Things may not have been completely resolved with Blaine - and they were in even worse shape now - but he truly does love Cameron, with every piece of his heart that doesn’t belong to his brother. He knows that’s selfish, too, but he thinks that there’s always a part of you that belongs to your twin. You’re two parts to the same whole, after all.
Opening his eyes, Everett’s gaze falls on a dark shape off to his right. It’s selfish and stupid but suddenly, Everett knows exactly where he’s going. He stands, pulling the rope to alert the driver and when the bus slows, he steps off into the night, shivering slightly. He’s super close so it doesn’t take but a couple of minutes to get to where he’s headed, the echo of his footfalls echoing loudly as they change from concrete to grated metal.
Everett stares out across the water, the Manhattan skyline glittering in the distance and he imagines that somewhere across town, Blaine has finally gotten Kurt to calm down and they’re curled together in their warm nest of domesticity. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out his phone, dialing the ever-familiar number, the plastic pressed hard against his ear.
“You reached Blaine-“
Everett listens all the way through and this time, he doesn’t hang up when it ends. He’s quiet for a minute before he takes a deep, shuddering breath and speaks. “I love you, Blaine. And I know it probably doesn’t mean anything to you, especially coming from me, but I am sorry. I should have backed off a long time ago when it was clear that Kurt was more than just a fling.” Tears fall hot and heavy on his cheeks and Everett pauses to wipe them away. “He’s good for you, you know. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile so much than whenever he’s around and lord knows you need someone to keep you from bouncing all over the place like an overgrown puppy. You and Kurt are going to be awesome parents. I hope you have a little girl and I hope she looks like you. But with Kurt’s eyes.”
Everett stops then, on the brink of toomuch and yet so close to the relief of finally letting go. He breathes deep again and continues, “Be happy, Blaine. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. A-and tell Cameron that I never blamed him for choosing Kurt.”
He hangs up before he says anymore, says too much and he stuffs his phone in his pocket. Dropping his backpack on the ground, Everett hoists himself up on the railing, one eye on the looming blackness below him. He gets halfway over when his phone rings in his pocket and he hesitates, debating on whether or not to answer. Biting his lip, Everett lowers himself back down to the safe side of the railing, letting go as soon as his feet touch the ground. He digs out his phone and thumbs the answer button without checking the caller ID, shaky hands pressing it against it head.
“‘lo?”
